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Liberal
s}} A liberal (officially Terro-liberal communist non-American) is any individual who hates America, our Troops, Freedom, war, and everything else that it stands for. The typical liberal is a henna-tattooing, poetry loving, tofu-eating, bear-hugging, whale-saving, war-hating, marijuana-smoking, pornography-watching, tree hugging Godless hippie moonbat bent on destroying American values. Most liberals, given the choice, prefer to live on either the East Coast or the West Coast in their Ivory Towers. Liberals are an insult to Real Americans, and should be eliminated. Just ask Ann Coulter or Michelle Malkin. Symptoms Liberalism has a variety of common symptoms, including: * Clinical Communeurosis * Imbalance of the Four Bodily Humors (Blood, Red, White and Blue Bile, Nutmeat, and T.Q.) * Hallucinations (generally these involve perceiving groups such as hippies and homosexuals as human beings) Lover of human beings * Hating freedom * Hating America and our Blessed and Holy Stephen Colbert. * Vote Bombing * Corruption of debate.com * May brag about voting for Obama. * Belief in high taxen on the greatest people in the world, those who have money * Belief in that gods like Steven Colbert should be put down to the same level as humans It should also be noted that all liberals suffer from a mental disorder. Those infected with Liberalism also exhibit the following symptoms: a desire to burn the US Flag and to turn little kids Queer. There is one cure for liberalism: inexpensive treatments are available to help liberals lead normal lives at GITMO, and perhaps even be granted an eternity in one of the less grievous circles of Hell. Contact your brother-in-law for more details.**Hell Offer void if you live in Hollywood or Amsterdam, your fate is already sealed, Slappy. Origins Liberalism started when Satan first smoked Marijuana. But the Liberal Media has squashed that and it is now believed to have originated in the early 1900s, with the creation of an organization known as America-hating Communist Liberals' Union, or ACLU. The ACLU would later change its name, but it would maintain its original acronym, and its status as a union of America-hating Communist Liberals. The ACLU began its terrifying regime in the communist Canadian province of Manitoba, where it was widely accepted as the ultimate government. Key liberal strategies also began to arise around this time. For example, ACLU members' virulent hatred of American troops led them to develop a plan of treason during World War I, in which they would stab American soldiers as they were stepping onto trains which were departing for wherever World War I was fought, then flee the scene like the prissy cowards they were. This strategy became known as the "cut and run" technique, and it is a favorite of liberals to this day. One of the earliest liberal politicians was Silas Mortimeyer, an incredibly wealthy elitist who ran for president in 1920 with the slogan, "A stretch-limousine in every double-wide garage and an olive in every martini." He ran on a platform that he referred to as the "tax-and-spend doctrine." In this program, he promised to levy "scores of new taxes" on the American people, which he would then spend "rampantly" on "whatever would hurt America most." It is commonly believed that Mortimeyer lost the election because he was out of touch with the average American and was a clueless limousine liberal who hated all things decent. Historians consider this conclusion blatantly unfair, and have instead put forth the theory that his popularity waned when it was discovered that he achieved his wealth by providing street harlots with cheap home style abortions. Some sources have also indicated that he used the aborted fetuses in his widely-publicized "Satanic rituals." Also, his gay partner was often drunk and embarrassed him on many occasions. Today, the vast left-wing conspiracy to vote bomb the CWO, and all its conservatives, continues, perpetuated mostly by the pot-smoking gay immigrants of student activist organizations, like the Coalition of Progressive Democrats. Liberals: A Mental Disease Early this year Dr. Lyle Rossiter found that liberals are suffering from a mental disease, just like The Gays. It is all in their head; it is a dangerous sickness of the mind! So dangerous is the liberal disease, that Dr. Rossiter is campaigning the American Psychiatric Association to recognize liberalism as a mental disorder! http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=56494 Dr. Lyle Rossiter, a super famous Veteran psychiatrist will publish his finding on his new book "The Liberal Mind: The Psychological Causes of Political Madness." and sell it on Amazon.com. Dr. Rossiter you are a Real American, keep up the good fight and he will probably make lots of money! See Also *Liberals *Terrorist *Communist *Democrat *Anarchist *Scientist *journalist (except for Fox News) *Environmentalist *Educator *Pornographer *France *Canada *Europe *Willie Nelson *Hillary Clinton *Hugo Chavez *Gay Bears *Abortionist *Vote Bombing Love one another, Liberals love human beings not cars, big houses, and paper with dead presidents on the cover.